ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
