my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
