this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
