I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
