hell yes lets make some ravioli
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
