NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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