You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
is it fun? or sober?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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