Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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