that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
