i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
