I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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