Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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