is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
