It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize