On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MIDGETS
????
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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