You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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