i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I want a musical about memes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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