why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
