Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize