part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
