its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
