You just made me feel so damn special
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize