Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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