I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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