Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
