Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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