if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize