It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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