I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
