We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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