I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
