Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
