I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
