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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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