I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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