we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
