But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
