I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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