dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
