He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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