i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize