I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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