no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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