I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize