she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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