I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
