My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
