Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
