32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
