WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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