well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
