I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
