Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
