I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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