If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
