Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
3pm strippers are depressing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
