the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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