i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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