It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
