Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
