so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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