Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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