a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
