watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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