woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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