No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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