he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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