oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
