I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
