Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize