your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
